Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans.

Somewhere in the middle of the original1 Underworld movie, there was a five
minute flashback which told us why the Vampires and Lycans2 were locked in an
endless conflict. Someone evidently thought that it might be fun to expand that
five minute segment to the full ninety minutes. Oddly, they may have been
right.

There are few guilty pleasures as fun as watching quality actors slumming it in
some godawful bit of nonsense. And here we have Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen
taking it in turns to one-up each other in terms of pure unadulterated ham, in
one of the most nonsensical and unnecessary films ever made.

Set in Ye Olde Days Ofe Yore, the vampires create and enslave a new breed of
Lycan, one that retains its reason, and which can remain human. This is
allegedly for the purpose of having daytime protectors while they sleep, but
there's precious little evidence of this, or indeed, that the sun ever comes
up. It seems more likely that their motive is to have someone to sneer at and
hit with whips. Which is fine, I'm not going to judge them for that.

A seksi laydee vampire and a Lycan fall in love, the Lycan longs to be free,
the seksi laydee vampire's father would disapprove if he found out, and it all
gets very Romeo and Juliet, only with more blood, teeth and swords. Eventually
all the Lycans realise that you don't actually have to accept slavery and
oppression if you're an eight foot mass of claws and teeth, and it all kicks
off.

The entire plot of the movie really does fit into the five minute segment in
the original movie, so all that's new here is extra hamming it up and violence.
It should be a complete disaster, but this simplicity somehow works in its
favour, and it's just rollicking aimless fun. And that's worth a good 7/10 in
my book.
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1 I'm being charitable here, obviously.
2 That is, werewolves, for those who have inexplicably allowed the Underworld
franchise to pass them by.