Wednesday 25 February 2009

The Day The Keanu Stood Silently Staring At People

And that's really all I have to say about him. Alien arrives, gets shot at by
idiots, is helped by beautiful scientist chick, learns the value of humanity,
and something. Oh and - Swirly Thing Alert!

Slow, ponderous, epic B Movie gets remade as slow, ponderous blockbuster. Sexy
new environmental message is tacked on, and we are forced, yet again, to endure
the message that the true meaning of humanity can be gleaned from the behaviour
of a whiny, irritating child.

The US military fails, on numerous occasions, to learn a lesson that should be
obvious - if a spacecraft is travelling at 0.1 of the speed of light and
decelerates to a pretty soft landing in the middle of a city, shooting at it
with your puny lead bullets that travel at substantially lower velocity than
that is just going to piss the aliens off. The point is made early on that it's
like when the aztecs met the conquistadors, but somehow that doesn't stop them
coming up with the strategy "wave our puny wooden spears at the men with
muskets."

It's not entirely awful, but I couldn't particularly tell you which bit wasn't.