Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Ok, this is the third film in the series that also includes El Mariachi and Desperado. Bear that in mind. See at least Desperado, because this movie isn't going to hang around waiting for you to work out why the guy is carrying a guitar and why he's such an awesome killing machine.

The plot is more convoluted than the first two films, and there's an uncomfortable amount of exposition in the first 20 minutes, about how there's a plot by some cartel dudes to kill the president of Mexico in a military coup, and a counter-plot by the CIA to off the leader of the coup after he's killed the president. But that's by the by, it's just setting up a load of betrayals and counter-betrayals down the line.

What you really need to know is that Antonio Banderas is wandering around with a sawn off shotgun, tortured by his past, and killing anyone remotely responsible for this. Johnny Depp is a really smart-arse amoral CIA guy, who gets betrayed, and spends the latter half of the movie seeking vengeance for it, despite a serious handicap. He gets *so* much cooler at this point. The whole thing works itself out in a satisfying enough way, and there's a lot of bodies in the street by the end. Claret by the bucketful.

It doesn't entirely make sense, and I don't think it's as good as Desperado. However, I don't think many things are as good as Desperado, so no real criticism there.

I'll give it 8/10, and declare it My Kind Of Movie.

Calendar Girls

You possibly remember the news story. Some Womens Institute women decide to do a nude calendar, in order to raise money for the local hospital, and cause a bit of a stir.

The film is warm, full of humanity, and is about these lovely middle aged women, and how much fun they have causing a scandal and ruffling feathers. You'll recognise most of them from BBC sitcoms, and films. (as an aside, if you've ever wondered what any of them look like naked, now's your chance.)

There's a few bum notes, mostly "drama" added to keep the pace going. One of the women has a philandering husband, and the experience gives her the confidence to confront him. I wish I could shake the feeling that It Never Really Happened, and the event was added to "make things more interesting" - because is really is #12 in the Big Book Of Standard Sub-plots.

Likewise the two main characters get all huffy at each other for hogging the limelight, and it doesn't really ring true. And that's #9 in the book.

Other than that, the film is a delight, the writing is great, there's some fun cameos, and I would recommend this film to anyone, including your parents.

Blackball

Pretty good, cheeky little comedy. Paul Kaye does a great turn as a cocky, rancid little weasel of a man, infuriatingly good at bowls, to the dismay of polite society. The film takes a lot of little swipes at American "against the odds" sports movies, which are all too common. There's basically two jokes here 1) how exciting bowls really isn't, and 2) how appalling the oik-savant bowls player is.

Paul Kaye made me laugh just looking at him, as did Johnny Vegas as usual. If the film had a weakness, it was that it was taking pot-shots at too many targets - the starchy traditionalist arch-nemesis, the blazer brigade, American sports promoters, sky's coverage of cricket, and so forth. As such, we didn't get nearly the pantomime villains needed to be foil to Kaye's pantomime clown.

Overall, a good 7/10, go see it if you're looking for a movie to watch kind of movie. I wouldn't make a special effort to see it, but if you're at a loose end, and Sunday afternoon TV is all bleedin' Tennis, you could do a lot worse.

Terminator 3

It's the Empire Strikes Back of the series. Doooooom.

It's also back to basics, with a person running, a person chasing, and a person trying and failing to get in the way. And I like that.

Two things clunk in the movie. One is the "jokes" - from the Terminator being clunkingly obsolete, to the knowing asides to the other movies, to the Terminator getting his leathers from a gay stripper. The T-800 isn't a threat, he's a bit sad. The world seems to be ganging up on him to mock him.

The second is that Arnie has just lost it. He used to be able to do Impassive Killing Machine, and now he just can't. Something happened, he got old, and he's just not scary anymore.

Having said that, I really dug the plot in a chin-stroking kind of way, even though this is a Terminator film which is at it's worst when there's Terminators on screen. So I'm giving it 7/10.