Wednesday 6 August 2008

A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures.

Independent Filmmaker Chris Waitt, in light of the fact he's just been dumped
yet again, decides to make a documentary, going back over his life,
interviewing his exes, in an attempt to work out what is wrong with him, and
why they all dumped him. And this isn't the premise for a fictional film, this
is a documentary. Albeit one where some of the scenes are of dubious veracity.

I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that you'll know what's wrong
with him and why they dumped him in the first five or so minutes. The next 85
minutes or so, however, chronicle his own gradual discovery of his own
shortcomings, in frank, embarrassing detail.

Essentially, it's 100% pure bottled schadenfreude. The guy's hopeless, and
frankly, I think he's edited the film to make himself appear more so for comic
effect. The real mystery is not why 10-15 perfectly lovely seeming girls dumped
him, it's why 10-15 perfectly lovely seeming girls went out with him in the
first place.

Anyway, it's a whistle-stop tour of the guy's misery, lingering uncomfortably
long on the issue of his erectile dysfunction, including a visit to a
dominatrix who seems to feel that whipping his gonads will help in some way,
though whether it's intended to help him, or get vengeance on behalf of the
women of the world is not clear. I mention this episode in particular, as it
contains actual footage of his privates being whipped, and I think anyone
seeing it should be thus far forewarned.

I'll give it 8/10. Riveting, in the sense of "I want to look away, but can't."
People with a low tolerance for embarrassment and humiliation may wish to look
elsewhere.